Day 11 of the #NurseBlogger challenge! Over the course of my career working as a tech (about 15 months), I have come into contact with thousands of patients: old, young, sick, dying, on drugs, demented, all of the above. My experience as a tech working in the ER has been amazing and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Some days I leave frustrated, exhausted or deeply heartbroken. Every single day is different when I come into work. Working in the ER, you literally never know what could happen. We work fast, move quick, and try to speed through everything so we can move on to caring for the next critical patient. But, these are people, not just patients. Each and every person has a beautiful life story worth listening to, amazing advice, and heartfelt words for us if we take the time to actually listen.
One day I was caring for this old man and his girlfriend was sitting at bedside. Automatically I assumed it was his wife (never assume anything BTW, that was my mistake), so I asked him how long they had been married to spark a conversation. He clarified it wasn’t his wife, but his neighbor, whom also was his girlfriend, that he had been with for 15 years or so. Somehow the conversation progressed and I began talking about how dating in this generation has changed quite a bit from how things used to be when he was my age. I talked about how dating was much harder and it was so much more difficult to find a decent man that actually respected women these days. The man grabbed my hand, looked me in my eyes and told me that I deserve to always be treated like a queen. I always deserve to be a man’s first choice. The girlfriend sitting at his bedside with him attested to every word he said. She agreed that he treats her like a queen everyday.
I’ve had pretty bad luck with relationships (I know I am young and I have time, but still). Whatever was happening in my life at the time of me caring for this patient, the advice was much needed and has obviously stuck with me. Sometimes we get so caught up in the same routine of things, involving ourselves with the same people and situations, without every realizing that we might actually deserve better in our lives than what we are receiving. We finally look at ourselves and realize that the reason you feel like crap is because you are being treated like it.
The elderly man in bed 6 has changed the way I look at things.
Disrespect shouldn’t exist in a healthy relationship. He has changed the way I look at myself, helping me realize that I am good enough to attract someone that is respectable and good enough for my standards. He has changed the way I look at dating, and instead of settling for something that is not the best thing for me, I should wait for the absolute best thing that God has to offer for me, because I am deserving of that, in the very least. He has changed the way I look at relationships, knowing that it is possible to have a healthy relationship with someone.
Almost every elderly couple that I see, I ask how long they have been married, and I always ask them what their secret is to their lasting marriage. I’ve gotten countless amount of responses. I’ve heard things like: “just walk away sometimes” and “pick your battles.” I take every one of them and bury them in my head and my heart so I can carry them around with me in my life so that I can pull out and use them when needed.
You deserve to me be treated like a queen no matter what. You always deserve to be someone’s first choice and don’t settle for anyone that acts otherwise.
It’s not something I will forget and I will carry it with me through my life because in the very least, I am deserving of that, from anyone. I hope that you will look at your own life and realize that you are all deserving of the absolute best, also! Thank you for reading! 🙂
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