I’m actually a 30-year-old stuck living in a 19 year old’s body.
Many people don’t understand that there might be a separation between physical age and emotional development. People hear 19 years old and they dismiss me, thinking I have a lot more maturing to do.
But, the truth is, I’m an old soul. I have always been driven in a way that most people my age are not. Most people my age would rather go out at night and party until 2 am instead of laying up at home watching Netflix alone until they fall asleep (usually like 10 pm lol). Not that I’m against it but I’d rather wake up feeling excited for a new day instead of sick and miserable the next morning. I don’t see myself going out every week to a crowded place full of sweaty men who try hitting on me all night. No thanks! Been there, done that, and it’s fun sometimes, but I prefer waking up motivated to enjoy my work day instead of dreading it because I’m miserably hungover or tired.
I’m actually a 30-year-old at heart. My idea of a perfect day is waking up next to my hubster with 4 little nuggets running around getting ready to hop in my mom van and head to the zoo for the day. What motivates me the most to succeed right now is being able to settle down and raise a family one day in my near future.
In high school, I actually hated anything to do with my class. I didn’t want to go to prom but, of course, my friends dragged me there with their dates and I was the “third wheel” the entire night. My goal in high school was to take as many college classes as I could and get the hell out of there and move on with my life. High school activities were never something I was interested in. Then, of course, right out of high school I started nursing school, the youngest in the class, so I could get on with my life and be successful in my career. I didn’t need to go away to college to “find myself” and what I wanted to be when I grow up. I graduated high school with my goals written out, ready to be accomplished.
As a teenager, I literally could not wait to get a real job. I loved having money too much at 13 years old from babysitting that as soon as I turned 16 I had applications in at 10 different places. I was living for free at home with my amazing family, but at 18 I was turned on to the idea of having responsibilities and my own bills to pay. I enjoy the responsibility of having my own apartment and bills. To-do lists and organization is my niche.
Sometimes I actually forget how young I am. I love to have a good time and I’m surely going to take advantage of the single life and enjoy life as an independent women. But, I know what my goals are in life and it doesn’t match up with the typical teenager.
Dating sucks in this generation. I obviously haven’t grown up in any other generation but I hope and pray that dating was a lot better back in my parents’ generation. Pick me up, open my door for me, and take me on a real date for once. I’m not going to say ALL men want the same thing because that makes the real gentlemen seem non-existent, but I’ll admit it’s hard to find someone with the same intentions. Why stay involved in a relationship that you don’t see going anywhere at all? Nope, BYE. I long for a companion that will last me forever. I know, I have time, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t long for something like that right now. Many people don’t understand how I could even think about something like that right now at 19, but it’s 30-year-old Anna talking!
I’m okay with being a solitary loner. A lot of times I’m disinterested in the pursuits of others my age and spend time on my own. I’ve always been more grounded and motivated in ways I don’t think typical teenagers are. I have very few friends and I don’t want to waste my time with half-assed friendships or toxic relationships. The friends I keep close are real friends that I love and can rely on for anything. Otherwise, I don’t want to put myself in a position to be brought down or hurt by people who don’t feel the same way that I do. I’ve also always been attracted to older people. One of my best friends is a 40 year old women who I could stay up all night talking about life with. It just seems I get along better with older people than I do someone my own age.
I enjoy the little things in life. There is something about reading a paper back book rather than downloading it to be available on my phone. I like to enjoy a hot cup of home-brewed coffee while watching the sun come up in the mornings on my porch. I prefer a glass of wine instead of a shot of whiskey. I love a home cooked meal. I love being given flowers and hand holding. I enjoy the simple things in life. I have a vintage soul with young eyes and whole lot of passion. I’m 50% child, 50% old soul.
Follow me on: Instagram